I'll Burn a Thousand Moons Just to Light a Single Sun
by ihearttvsnark
Summary: Tumblr Prompt: The thoughts that were going through Killian's mind from the time he received the message from Neal and realized he could see Emma again to when he knocked on her door in New York.


The first warning something was wrong came from the sea.

It had been a day like any other as Killian stood at the helm of his ship, guiding her through the familiar waters that united the realms. The seas were no longer as open as they had once been thanks to whatever dark sorcery the queen had enacted to undo the curse, but there were still plenty of connected kingdoms for Killian and his crew to sail in and out of – so many ports and villages begging to be plundered.

The crew was still celebrating their latest haul. Most of them were sleeping off hangovers or warming their bellies with fresh food and ale. They no longer expected Killian to join them. He steered the ship and planned the missions because he didn't trust anyone else to do it correctly, but he rarely left the ship to partake in the pirating or to visit the local taverns. There was nothing for him there or anywhere else in this bloody realm. He'd stopped pretending otherwise and after a few months of warnings and threats, the crew had finally taken the hint as well and gave him a wide berth.

Killian preferred it that way. He gave the orders, the men followed them and then he was alone with too many thoughts in his head and scars on his heart. There wasn't enough rum in all the realms to stop his mind from going to Emma and wondering what she was doing or if there was any part of her that still remembered him. He knew what the queen had said, but Emma's existence was stronger than any curse so perhaps –

The sea jerked beneath the ship, a violent shudder that nearly sent him flying backward before he latched onto the wheel with his hook and used it to steady himself. Killian steered the ship back onto its course, his eyes searching the sky for some hint as to where that jolt had come from. Despite the cold temperatures, the water had been calm without any hints of a storm brewing. The sky was dark, the moon and stars hidden from view, but everything around the ship was still once more.

He wanted to write it off as nothing, but he'd been a sailor for over three-hundred years and the sea did not show her temper for no reason. A flapping sound caught his attention and he glanced up to see a bird heading straight for him. Killian lifted his hook to brush it aside, but the creature ducked underneath his arm and landed on the wheel. Killian scowled at the intrusion, but the bird simply stared back at him almost expectantly.

"And who might you be?" Killian asked. Perhaps he was going mad if he expected the bird to answer. He held up his hook again, wanting to shoo it away, and spotted the vial on its leg along with a torn piece of cloth. "Well, well, what do we have here?" He lifted the cloth first and opened it slowly, his eyes widening when he saw what was written on it.

_A new curse coming. Memory potion. Find Emma. Storybrooke._

The message was scrawled in barely legible writing, clearly created by someone who was in a hurry. Killian took the small vial from the bird's leg and the creature flew away, flapping its wings loudly as it crossed the sea like there was a demon on its trail. He looked at the vial for a long moment as his heartbeat grew so loud that he felt it pounding between his ears. There was a new curse. Someone wanted him to find Emma.

Another violent wave rocked the ship and this time, Killian did skid backward across the deck. He grabbed the railing and looked down, watched the water churning under the dark sky. But it wasn't completely black anymore. In the distance, he saw the barest hint of colorful smoke and he knew in an instant that it wasn't smoke. It was magic. The curse was brewing and if he got caught up in it, he might never get to Emma.

"Smee!" Killian shouted. He slipped the vial into his pocket to keep it safe and strode across the deck back to the wheel. Killian spun it sharply in the direction of the land they had left a few short hours earlier. "Smee!" he shouted again as the ship began to pick up speed, cutting through the choppy water almost as if she could feel the captain's renewed determination. "All hands on deck!"

Killian kept his eyes on the land as the men fumbled onto the deck, some of them tripping over each other as they rushed forward in their various inebriated states. Killian barely paid any attention to them nor did he spare a glance at his first mate as the stout man joined him at the wheel. "What do you need, Captain?"

"I need you to get everyone off my ship," Killian replied. He willed the ship to go faster as the water grew shallower, indicating they were closing in on the port. He turned the wheel again, guiding her toward the docking point. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Smee open his mouth and knew the man was about to waste his time. "You _will_ follow your captain's orders and you will not bore me with your useless questions. Do you understand?"

Smee swallowed hard. "Yes, Captain." He turned to the crew and started pushing them toward the dock. Killian watched the men rush off the ship, muttering to one another, wondering if he'd finally snapped. Smee was the only one who looked back at him and Killian sent a steely look in his direction, causing him to turn away. Once he left the ship, Killian spun the wheel again, pulling away from the dock and back out to sea. He looked up, but there were no stars to navigate his journey.

Closing his eyes, Killian pictured the familiar realms. The bird had come from the Enchanted Forest, perhaps from Snow White herself. He couldn't think of anyone else who would send a message via bird, especially such an important one. That meant the curse was coming from that direction and this port was close enough to be swept up in it. Killian turned the ship in the opposite direction and moved away from the wheel to adjust the sails. The sea grew choppy once more and he finished the task and returned to the wheel, glancing back off his shoulder. He could see the magic more clearly now, rising up over the trees and moving to overspread the kingdoms.

"Come on, sweetheart," he whispered to the ship as he kept hand and hook on the wheel, doing his best to make sure the ship stayed steady. The wind rustled his coat and he gritted his teeth, eyes focused on the open seas as he felt the magic getting closer. He glanced back and saw it overtake the port he'd left. Killian let go of the wheel to adjust the sails once more, the ship picking up speed as the rough waters tossed beneath her.

The air grew chillier and he could practically feel the magic threatening to overtake him. But the ship held strong and when Killian glanced over his shoulder again, there was open sea between him and the lingering magic. He knew better than to be relieved just yet. Killian didn't slow down until he felt the sea even out and suddenly the night sky was lit up with stars once more. He chanced another glance over his shoulder and all he saw was sea and sky.

"Bloody hell," Killian muttered. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the vial of memory potion. His hand shook as he stared at it in disbelief. The tiny bottle of liquid was the answer to his prayers. After nearly a year of longing and heartache, he finally had a way to get Emma back. But first he needed to get the hell out of this realm.

He crossed the deck and quickly made his way down the stairs to his cabin. Killian pulled out the maps he'd used to plan their latest heist and quickly crossed off the kingdoms that had most likely been taken by the curse. There were only two ports left in this realm that he could use and only one that was likely to have what he needed. It wasn't going to be easy. He'd made a lot of enemies over the years, but he also knew exactly what those enemies coveted.

Killian raced back up the steps to the deck and set course for the next port. Not wanting to waste time, he pushed the ship as fast as she could go once again and soon, he was making his way through the small village. It was even more rundown than he remembered. The streets were filled with beggars and drunks and Killian ignored all of them, ducking into the first tavern he came across.

The entire room momentarily stilled at his arrival. All the eyes on the room were on him and it only took seconds for everyone to draw their swords and point them in his direction. He flashed a grin as he lifted his hand and hook in a gesture of surrender. "While it's lovely to see all of you again, I'm in a bit of a rush and don't have time to wipe the floor with all of you. Show yourself, Maxwell!"

A buzz went through the room and then the curtain behind the bar was pushed aside and a tall man walked out, his face obscured by the giant black hat he wore to try and disguise the fact that he only had one good eye. He used that eye to glare at Killian while several men in the bar stood up, swords still in hand. "Captain Hook, what brings you to my corner of the world?"

Killian didn't particularly want to have this conversation from across the tavern, but he knew the older man wasn't going to come closer without Killian going through his guards. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he could take them all on, he had before and ended up with Maxwell's eye as a souvenir, but he didn't want to waste his valuable time. "Word on the waterways is that you're in possession of magic beans. I came to discuss a trade."

Maxwell laughed, but there was no humor in the sound, only bitterness. "Unless you're planning on trading your head, I don't think we have anything to say to one another." He made a motion with his hand and one of his men stepped forward. Killian rolled his eyes, but he drew his sword and began to duel with the other man, easily disarming him. A second man rushed him and Killian ducked out of the way, causing him to ram his sword into the wall.

"What would you say if I offered the Jolly Roger?"

Two more men had been rushing toward him and they both stopped in their tracks at that, turning to look at Maxwell. He lifted his head, allowing Killian to see his good eye as well as the piece of glass that covered the empty socket that he'd once pierced with his hook. "Captain Hook is willing to part with his beloved ship? We all know the story of Blackbeard. Why now?"

Guilt tightened in Killian's chest as he recalled the angry little mermaid diving off the ship after giving him a piece of her mind for not saving her prince. He pushed the memory down and focused on the man in front of him. "My reasons are not important. Do we have a deal?"

"The ship for a bean," Maxwell repeated. He finally moved around the bar and slowly crossed the tavern, motioning for his men to stand down. Killian slid his sword back into the holster and held out his hand. "Give me one bean and she's all yours."

Maxwell reached into the pocket of his jacket and produced a bean, held it up for Killian to see. "You won't mind if I send some of my men to check out the ship first?" He gestured toward the door and several of the men got up. Killian stepped to the side, his eyes on the bean. His heart was pounding in his ears again and he fought the urge to pace the small tavern as they stood there, waiting for the men to return.

It felt like forever, but he knew it was only a matter of minutes before one man rushed back to tell Maxwell that the ship was docked and there were no crew members aboard. Maxwell nodded and Killian extended his hand to him once more. The other man sent him a distasteful look, but he shook his hand and then dropped the bean in it. "I trust this will be the last time you set foot in my village, Hook."

"Aye," Killian replied. He closed his hand around the bean and walked out of the tavern. His eyes automatically went to the sea and he watched the Jolly's sails billowing in the night sky. Something painful tightened inside of him, but then Emma's face filled his mind and he knew without a doubt that this was the right choice. Killian turned away from the dock and ducked down an alley, made sure there was no one around before he looked at the bean in his hand.

Traveling through portals was not an exact science, but he'd done it several times in his life and knew how the magic worked. He didn't know precisely where Emma was in the land without magic, but he knew she was with Henry. Killian closed his eyes and painted a picture of the two in his mind, recalled watching them depart in Emma's yellow vessel. Once they crossed the town line, their memories would have disappeared, but Emma would have had a destination in mind.

She'd want to make a good home for herself and for her son. Killian kept the picture of Emma and Henry in his mind, imagining them happy and smiling as he opened his eyes and tossed the bean on the ground. Within seconds, a portal came to life before him. The magic swirled in angry circles and Killian swallowed hard and leapt inside. His whole world was spinning – colors and sounds and lights coming fast from all directions and then it all stopped and he was thrown to the ground.

Killian let out a loud curse as pain seemed to radiate through every part of him. He lifted his head, blinking his eyes when he was greeted by sunshine instead of a dark sky. Killian pushed himself up to his feet, glancing around to try and find his bearings. There was a lot of noise in the background and he could see people and cars moving past the enclosed area where he had landed. He turned from the fence to the building behind him and recalled seeing similar ones the year before when he'd followed Emma and the Dark One to Manhattan.

He followed the path to the door and tried the handle. It wouldn't open. Killian bent down to examine the lock and was about to use his hook to attempt to pry it apart when the door was thrown open. He jumped back in surprise as a woman stepped out. She raised an eyebrow at him and he did his best to give her a polite smile as he shoved his left hand beneath his coat, obscuring the hook from view. The woman was undeterred from her path and stepped around him, not even glancing over her shoulder as he slipped inside the building.

The hallway was empty and Killian took a moment to switch out the hook with the fake hand he carried with him. Emma wasn't going to remember him at first and the last thing he wanted to do was frighten her. He clicked it into place and slipped the hook into his pocket before taking the memory potion out of another pocket. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the little vial had survived the trip intact. Now he just needed to find Emma and convince her to take it.

Emma.

For the first time since the bird had landed on his ship's wheel, Killian allowed himself a moment to let everything sink in. He was back in the land without magic and if the portal had done its job, he was standing in the building that Emma now called home. She was here and if she wasn't, he would find her because they were once again in the same realm. He was finally going to see Emma again after he'd spent months convincing himself that there was no hope and he needed to forget her.

But he hadn't forgotten her – not for a single moment. Instead, he'd relived all the time they'd spent together from the beanstalk to Storybrooke to Neverland and back again. She'd never been far from the forefront of his mind, no matter what he was doing and he'd barely slept since the curse returned him to the Enchanted Forest because he'd ached for her so much that he could hardly stand to be in his own head and now he was one step closer to having her back.

He stepped away from the wall and moved further down the hall, pausing when a row of nameplates caught his eye. There were numbers with names written beside them, some full names, others just initials. He scanned them quickly and when he came to 311, his heart sped up when he saw 'ES' in block letters beside it. Killian ran his fingers across the small plate. This was it. Emma was here.

The hallway ended with a staircase and he made his way up three flights of stairs and then down another hallway, doors marked with big letters surrounded by white walls. He found 311 and stared at it for a moment, wondering what Emma was doing on the other side. She wasn't going to remember him right away, but he could make it. His Swan was right here and nothing in this world or any other was going to be enough to take her from him again.

Killian stepped forward and knocked on the door, the sound of his heart pounding between his ears overtaking the noise of his fist against the door. He heard voices on the other side and he knocked again, trying to drown out the noise his heart was making. Footsteps came closer and then the door was thrown open and for the first time in almost a year, Killian allowed himself to breathe as warmth overtook the emptiness that had lingered in his chest.

"Swan."


End file.
